Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
