Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
