Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
3 2 1 whiskey
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
