Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
