She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
