Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
