im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
