Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
