Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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