Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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