CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
