he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
