in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize