We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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