Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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