Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My liver just broke up with me...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
