Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
