Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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