how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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