I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
