Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wear drunk well.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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