I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
