Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my shit smells like andre
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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