The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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