Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
