i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize