I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
