apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
