So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
