My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
