You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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