Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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