u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
