Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
