I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
