marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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