So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the condom got lost in my hair
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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