just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
