He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
