I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
