We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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