I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
