i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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