He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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