loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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