We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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