This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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