I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
