If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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