there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize