Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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