mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
time to smoke my breakfast
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
