her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
