absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
