lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
