Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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