Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
