i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
