i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
