Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
